Bye Bye Skanky Bratz Dolls!

I’ve always held my position that the Bratz line of dolls are skanky and slimy. And now apparently a federal judge has made my wish come true.  Now if only we can eradicate all traces of the Polly Pocket dolls, I’d be a happy mommy. That little bitch has WAY TOO MANY TINY PLASTIC PARTS. You may as well just put her accessories in my vaccuum cleaner bag before you gift them to my daughters.

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Barbie beats back Bratz

Federal judge bars MGA from making, selling Bratz dolls; Barbie sales down 15%.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — The rowdy Bratz dolls have been evicted. Barbie has regained control of the dollhouse.

Toy giant Mattel Inc., after a four-year legal dispute with MGA Entertainment Inc., touted its win in the case Wednesday after a federal judge banned MGA from making and selling its pouty-lipped and hugely popular Bratz dolls.

“It’s a pretty sweeping victory,” Mattel attorney Michael Zeller said. “They have no right to use Bratz for any goods or services at all.”

U.S. District Judge Stephen Larson rocked the toy industry with his order that MGA must immediately stop manufacturing Bratz. He allowed MGA to wait until the holiday season ends to remove the toys from store shelves.

The decision was a stunning defeat for MGA, which exploded onto the tween scene in 2001 with the edgy dolls and made hundreds of millions in profits, giving Mattel’s more classic doll-diva Barbie a run for her money.

MGA planned to immediately appeal the judge’s injunction, Chief Executive Isaac Larian said in a written statement late Wednesday.

Larian said the company also intended to ask that the order be stayed until the appeals process is over, so that “we can maintain the over 1,500 people that MGA employs, and continue to give our consumers a product they desire.”

The ruling, issued in federal court in Riverside, followed a jury’s finding that Bratz designer Carter Bryant developed the concept for the dolls while working for Mattel.

The same jury later awarded Mattel $10 million for copyright infringement and $90 million for breach of contract after a lengthy trial stemming from Mattel’s 2004 lawsuit ended in August.

Mattel has fought to neutralize the Bratz line for years. The dolls — with their huge lips, pug noses, almond-shaped eyes and coquettish figures — were an instant hit with young girls. MGA had taken Bryant’s original four dolls and spun out a line of more than 40 characters, complete with accessories and related toys such as Bratz Boyz, Bratz Petz and Baby Bratz.

El Segundo-based Mattel has seen sales of Barbie — once a rite of passage for American girls — slide since the doe-eyed Bratz dolls first came on the scene. Domestic sales of Barbie were down 15% in 2007.

Both sides had a lot riding on the judge’s decision and had worried about the impact of any ruling during the holiday shopping season.

The judge’s injunction named all 40 dolls in the Bratz line, including the four originals — Yasmine, Chloe, Sasha and Jade. Larson also ordered MGA to reimburse its vendors and distributors for the cost of the dolls and all shipping charges for sending them back.

During trial, Mattel attorneys said MGA made nearly $778 million on the Bratz line since it was introduced seven years ago, and company Chief Executive Isaac Larian made $696 million through June — but MGA insisted the profits were much less.

The post-trial dispute that prompted Wednesday’s ruling centered on whether the jury found that only the first generation of four Bratz dolls infringed on Mattel’s (MAT, Fortune 500) copyright or whether all the dolls in the line are in violation.

The jury verdict form only asked panelists to find whether there was infringement and assign a dollar reward, but did not ask them to specify which dolls among the dozens MGA made violated the law.

Los Angeles-based MGA, which no longer makes the first-generation dolls, argued that the later toys in the Bratz line don’t violate the copyright and it could continue to sell them.

MGA attorney Raoul Kennedy argued that Larson had the discretion to determine which dolls violated Mattel’s copyright. Mattel’s attorneys disagreed, saying the court does not have the authority to interpret the jury’s findings after the fact. 

First Published: December 4, 2008: 6:50 AM ET

Kids, meet The Wilderness.

Our Thanksgiving plans were cancelled due to some family drama. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

So instead of sticking around Houston for Thanksgiving and possibly ruminating over the fact that I cancelled our trip, I decided to start look around at driving to Austin for the holiday. Part of my reason is purely selfish in that by taking a roadtrip, I relieve myself of the responsibility of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner. Oh don’t even roll your eyes at me!  You’ll be thinking of me, sipping on a nice Merlot under a crystal chandelier with my OH SO WELL BEHAVED CHILDREN, while you’re telling the fire department it’s a false alarm. For the third time.

So then I got this bright idea to find something RUSTIC. Camping? No, the kids aren’t ready for a tent. RV? No, we don’t have an RV, thank goodness, or otherwise I’d be living in it from time to time with hubby upsets me. A lodge?  Hmm, well now THERE’S an idea!  Something rugged; think firepit, rocking chairs, a rec room, horseback riding, canoeing, nature trails, hiking. WHAT FUN!

And then I started reading about a nice lodge I found just northwest of Austin on Lake Buchanan. No TV. No internet. No cell signals. WAIT– WHAT?!  NO INTERNET?! Maybe I’d better rethink this whole ‘rustic’ thing.

But alas, the idea got the better of me and I eventually told hubby about it and how good I think it would be to get the twins accustomed to camping.  He got sort of excited too. But that excitement faded as soon as I said “No internet”.

Last night during dinner, I casually asked “Girls? What sounds like MORE fun to you:  Staying in a hotel in a city and walking around in a city, or staying in a cabin in the woods with wilderness and NATURE?”

“Cabin? What’s a cabin?” One twin replied.

“It’s like a little house. A cottage. With a bed, a bathroom, but no TV. It’s like camping!”

“Will there be animals?” The other twin asked.

“Yes! It’ll be so cool!  We can roast marshmallows and ride horses…”

“But animals?  THINGS THAT WALK ON FOUR LEGS?!” she started getting more intense.

“Yes, like deer, raccoon, rabbits, eagles, maybe a fox or an armadillo…” I said calmly.

And then her lip started trembling.”W-what about… tigers?”

“No, no, honey” I said.

“W-w-will the — animals — come into our cabin?”

“No, honey. Of course not.” I said.

And then I went into a whole spiel about camping and wilderness and how cool it will be and how I grew up going camping and how much I loved it… ‘Course I omitted details like the time I woke up with the 4 inch daddy long leg on my chest, and the time my dad spotted a timber wolf, and the MONSTER sized moths that come out at night.

And as I spoke on and on about all the wonderful things about being out in the wilderness and my glorious times going camping, I saw my more fearful twin getting visibly more and more upset. Tears were welling in her eyes. Her bottom lip was trembling. She was hardly breathing. So finally I said “Honey, what is wrong?!”

“W-w-will there be… shops?”

After rolling laughter from hubby and I, we reassured her that we won’t be the ONLY humans in a 20 mile radius, silly, and that this is a resort lodge which means there will be lots of other people around and maybe even some kids!

“But will there be… food?”

OF COURSE THERE WILL BE FOOD!  We aren’t going REAL camping, we’re going PUSSY CAMPING, which means there will be a 4-star restaurant and a gift shop with turquoise jewelry.

“Okay, I’ll go”, she declared. “But we will go horseback riding first thing when we get there.”

A Full-Scale, National Reboot. (and a Quote of the Day for good measure!)

Dear Internet,

On November 4th, 2008 the United States of America came full circle.

The significance of this day is immeasurable. From being treated as nothing more than slaves, to the ascension to arguably the most powerful office in the world, Americans of African descent have new reason to believe today. And new goals to acheive — goals which were unimaginable just a short time ago. There’s simply no excuse to give up anymore.

I am proud to be American.

Admittedly, though, I watched the vote count come in with my fingers crossed because I had a sour taste in my mouth that the dirty Republicans would steal the election again. Being the pessimist I am, I had visions of these right-wingers getting orders from God to cheat the machines and do anything possible to keep an ultra-conservative in the office.

My negative thoughts were short lived, however, when I saw the landslide that was the people’s election of Barak Obama.

I’m sure anyone in a blue state felt elated and comfortable enough to run into the streets in a parade of cheer, hugging your neighbors, holding up your Obama/Biden yard signs and blowing your car horn to the rhythm of YES WE CAN!  But not in Texas. Oh no, Texas is somber. My coworkers are quiet. And all I want to do is JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SCREAM ‘INTELLIGENCE WON!’ ‘DOWN WITH BUSH!’ ‘PALIN, GO HOME!’ ‘YES WE CAN!’

But I can’t.  Cuz that would be salt in their wounds, wouldn’t it? But seriously now; Can you even IMAGINE life with an intelligent president in office? It’s been so long. It’s been too long.

The last thing I will say about the end of the Bush regime, and the end to the Republican rule:  Keep your religion out of our government.

-Fin-

Yesterday’s Quote of the Day by my 6 year old daughter:

Me: Sweetheart, his name is Barak. Barack. BA-rak.

my kid: I call him ROCK OBAMA cause he ROCKS!

Instant Messenger Quote of the Day – Halloween Edition

From my coworker:

“Have you noticed that ALL women’s costumes are slutty?”

“GOD BLESS AMERICA”

Barak Me Obamadeus!

Last night we watched Obama’s half hour TV spot from the kitchen table while we ate McDonalds. Gross, I know.  The McDonalds, not the Obamercial. In my defense, it was soccer practice night and I ordered a salad with grilled chicken. And as for the kids — well it’s more about the Happy Meal toy than it is about the chicken McNuggets.

At one point during a particularly mushy moment of Barak’s speech, my daughter looks over to me, wiping tears, and said “Dude it’s making me cry!”

Later on after the show was over, I got a phone call which I passed on to my daughter. She started her conversation like this:

“Oh HI! … I’m good. …. Yeah, school’s good… Yeah, we had soccer practice tonight and I really like soccer oh and today in school we went on a field trip but I got in trouble for climbing on the seats in the theater and my sister bited me in the forehead and I cried so my teacher gave her a time out too and today we had McDonalds cuz mommy didn’t want to cook If I could vote I would vote for Obama cuz he’s handsome and sweet.”

And then somehow she must’ve thought she was on a roll because this morning as I gave her a goodbye kiss as she left for school, she said “You smell like a can of peas.”  Her sister exploded into laughter. I eventually did too.

after a long, long week…

Greeting Card Obsessed?

Yay me! I’m totally not going to talk about the third and final presidential debate last night. Because America seems to agree with my assessment anyhow. Blah Blah Blah. Plus I am completely obliterated with a head cold today and I’m having trouble just holding my head up enough to type this.

But I’m excited because… Oh wait. Background is essential here. Here we go: My mother in law is obsessed with greeting cards. Our Christmas cards should arrive from her any day now. The first set. Yes. The second set of Christmas cards will arrive shortly after Halloween. And if it reaches the 2-month-mark before her birthday, we will receive the first of 10 reminders to send our card soon. And she will take the hassle out of picking out the card because she will also tell us what she’d like her birthday card to say. The exact wording, that’s right.

And if this isn’t a painful enough reminder of what a poor housewife I am (nevermind the fact that I work a full time job), then I will get a formal Thank-You Note in the mail, followed by an informal Thank-You-Email, followed by a Thank-you-for-the-birthday-card – but-you-didn’t-invite-us-over-for-Thanksgiving-so-is-there-something-wrong phone call.

So I’ve finally found an e-card that will knock my mother in law’s socks off.  Behold:

oh no, must… post… political… thread… SORRY!

** I’m really sorry, once again, to be gettin’ all political. I guess I’m a victim of this election turmoil just like everyone else. And I realize how much is riding on the vote. For my family, it’s a lot. We are middle class and we want our voices back. We want our working-class benefits back. We are sick of the health insurance companies. We are sick of seeing our money vanish in thin air and we are sick of watching the oil companies get richer and richer and richer. We want the greed to stop. And if you feel like throwing “Obama sucks-he’ll raise taxes-he is this or that-bullshit at me”, then I’ll tell you upfront that my vote this year will be for the lesser of two evils. And that is the Democratic ticket. Until we have a more fair voting system that includes more than just the two jerks at the top of the Republican and Democratic sides, I will vote for the less greedy of the two parties. That said, I love you all. xxoo

So herein lies my problem with the ultra-right-wing conservatives. I’m not quite sure what it is the conservatives find so scary about liberals. My understanding of the conservative right is they wish to keep a certain moral standard. Okay. I get it. I agree that we should be teaching our children morals and ethics. Who can disagree? But does that also include teaching them intolerance? Intolerance to other races, religions, and classes of people?

A conservative friend of mine once told me that the reason she is a conservative Republican is because her father once said “If you went to college and worked your butt off to graduate with honors, get the highest paying job, and live in the biggest house with the fanciest car, why should the classmate who only half-assed with C grades be entitled to the same things?” But what my friend’s father didn’t include is that not everyone will have the chance to go to that college. Those who are born into poverty rarely rise above and leave the streets of crime and absent parenting. So we can’t change the people, but we can certainly try to change the status quo — that is, fundamentally changing the way shit’s been done for years. Sure we can be aggressive and stop crime by putting guns in criminal’s faces. But why not also be proactive, and start some *gasp* government programs to get low-income kids some better chances in life so that they will not follow in the footsteps of impoverished children before them? Change.  And fear of change. Is that really what it’s all about?

[Edit] Okay, to understand the position better, I went to the Conservative Party’s official website. Here’s a quote from it:

“…we uphold the principle that the individual is sovereign; where social conduct involves personal choices”

Now let me just say that their principles are commendable. Seriously.  What a great idea to think that every single American can be counted on to make socially moral personal choices. But the truth, folks, is that many Americans simply can’t, won’t and don’t know how to make socially moral personal choices. And therefore, the offspring of those people are doomed to this same reality. And so begins the cycle.

Most of my liberal molding stems from the way we treat our children. I believe in my heart of hearts that all children should be given the same opportunities: Health care, education, love, etc. If we could intervene and help the children of impoverished families; children of parents who only know a life of crime, drugs, laziness–If we more prosperous people could help every child in America, wouldn’t we be helping our future generations free themselves from the shackles of their social class? We simply can’t trust every American to make the right choices. We can’t cross our fingers and hope every American will uphold the principles of the Conservative Party.

Another quote from the official Conservative Party website:

“…Each adult citizen is responsible for the health, education and welfare of himself or herself and their family.”

Again, each adult citizen cannot be trusted to provide health, education and welfare to his/her family. Period.

Another aspect of Conservativism that I disagree with:  Separation of Church and State. It’s in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

What does “the most liberal…” actually mean and why is that so scary?

liberal |ˈlib(ə)rəl|
adjective
1. open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values

So is it old school vs. current?  I guess I just don’t see how all the effort to keep “traditional values” is really so life-or-death for some folks. EVERYTHING CHANGES. And not all change is bad. Good god, people, we can’t stop change, so why can’t we all focus on how to get everyone on board to ride these waves of change with the least hiccups?  The way I see it, change is going to happen whether you like it or not. And we know based on history that “traditional values” don’t always hold water in modern times.

My other problem with the ultra-conservative-right?  Warring gods. Really folks, these are the plots of Greek myths (and holy wars in the Middle East, it seems). My god is better than your god and my god can kick your god’s ass. Do these people wake up and DRINK ignorance?

The following video left me dumbfounded by the ignorance that festers in our country today.

The Obamas

Real.

Bonding with butt humor

Remember my daughters who are 6 years old and fascinated with butts?

Last night during dinner, I drank some white wine. Normally I prefer red, but it was free and it was there and thus I drank it. And then I drank some more. And then dinner was done, baths were done, homework was done and mommy was tipsy.

As I was escorting my twins to bed, I accidentally bit my tongue. (yes, most likely as a result of poor coordination from drinking too much white wine.) My tongue hurt and I stuck it out and said “Man! That HURT!” People: stick your tongue out and say MAN! THAT HURT!  Now imagine you’re 6 years old seeing your drunk mommy do that.

So this new form of speaking with your tongue out was a sudden hit and my daughter who is the more crazy of the two decided to try it herself. Brilliant. Drunk mommy and crazy daughter speaking with their tongues out of their mouths. Naturally the conversation turns to — What else — BUTTS.

Now her and I are running around the house yelling things with our tongues out and pretend passing-gas. At one point, every member of the family was mooned.

My OTHER daughter was less than thrilled. She actually looked humiliated. At 6 years old!  Her expression said it all: My mother has lost her marbles and is embarassing me in front of my Build-A-Bear!

And husbands response?  “I need to get you drunk more often.”